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The wounds of my best friends have pierced my soul and I am filled with naked emotions. I ponder under the stars as this thoughts keeps vamping in my head for attention..'' We often strongly condemn others for the very thing we are most guilty of ourselves''....That’s the title deed of hypocrisy which we are all culprits in some way or the other...

Fortunately enough I have realized that anytime we have no goals, it is easy for others to impose on us their ideas of who we are and are not, and of what we should and should not be doing. Manipulation is a result of purposelessness. Ironically anytime we don’t know and understand our purpose, or who we are created to be, we become vulnerable to manipulation of self and by others...

Now this is the most freaking part as I sit on my patio overlooking my garden with the cold breeze blowing and the freshness of natures scent from the green bushveld grass seducing my mind, then out of the blues came these questions...Who are you really? Who are you when no body is looking? That is the real you. Who you are when all the camouflage is off, when you don’t have an ego to defend, when you have nothing to prove at the office? Who are you when you are not concerned about who is driving the nicest car, who owns the biggest house or who makes the best business decisions? Who are you aside from all the limitations in life? Sigh...The questions continued...

Haven't you ever wondered why you are still here on planet earth? Why did you make it through everything you made it through? Do you really think it’s because you were that slick, or that gifted, or that smart, or that cool. You owe to yourself to wrestle until you find out who you are!

It is difficult to handle the pressure and stress of being everyone's hero all the time, to act like a man or a woman when you feel like a boy or a girl inside. It is perplexing to comfort other people when you wish there were someone who would comfort you. I guess there has to be a place where we can go and there is no need to impress anyone, a place where we are not expected to be super humans if by any chance that exist.

As the day come to a close and my mind begins to retire into chaste and slumber....Its dawns on me that sometimes we invest our self in our pain and forget to nurture the things that can make us grow beyond our challenges...As I close my eyes under the night stars, deep within me I am still soul searching for answers to the questions.
In closing this note....We all have questions unanswered in our lives and it is of importance that we find our way to that space where we can indulge in dialog with self and find our own truth and answers...

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